The CE Pro Complaints Choir


What would a CE Pro complaint choir sound like?

A new musical genre called Valituskuoro is finding favor among millions of malcontents around the world. 

Finnish for “complaints choir,” the term originally was meant to describe situations in which a lot of people kvetch simultaneously. 

But some enterprising artists took the term literally, launching a fad that has singers around the world belting out songs of woe.

After enjoying a documentary on the subject, I wondered what a CE Pro complaints choir might sound like. Maybe something like this:

RMAs can drive you nuts
‘Cuz vendors hesitate
To reimburse their dealers for
Their labor and their freight.

No one likes the format wars
For next-gen DVDs.
What’s worse, they’re sold by big-box stores
Practically for free.

When wealthy clients get TVs
Installed by some riffraff,
Then beg you to clean up the work,
Don’t you want to laugh?

What took so long for HDMI
To give us 1.3?
Now it must compete against
DisplayPort and IP.

The copyright fanatics
Can make integrators groan.
They need to get a life, and let
Kaleidescape alone.

Builders won’t spend squat for tech
And it’s no wonder why.
Koehler sinks and fancy spas
Are what consumers buy.

The cable guys rely on us
To pick up all their slack.
But when it comes to sharing,
Do they ever give back?

Coax, Cat 5 — who needs that?
It’s all so yesterday.
Wireless works everywhere,
The gadget gurus say.

Tell that to work-at-homers
Who may not be amused
That they can’t surf the Internet
When microwaves are used.

Even “savvy” builders
Tout technology that blows
‘Cuz they use their own “people”
Instead of CE pros.

It really isn’t builder woes
That make most dealers sick.
It’s that the integration biz
Desperately needs chicks.

Do you have a few poetic complaints of your own to share?

About the Author

Julie Jacobson
Julie Jacobson:

Julie Jacobson is founding editor of CE Pro, the leading media brand for the home-technology channel. She has covered the smart-home industry since 1994, long before there was much of an Internet, let alone an Internet of things. Currently she studies, speaks, writes and rabble-rouses in the areas of home automation, security, networked A/V, wellness-related technology, biophilic design, and the business of home technology. Julie majored in Economics at the University of Michigan, spent a year abroad at Cambridge University, and earned an MBA from the University of Texas at Austin. She is a recipient of the annual CTA TechHome Leadership Award, and a CEDIA Fellows honoree. A washed-up Ultimate Frisbee player, Julie currently resides in San Antonio, Texas and sometimes St. Paul, Minn. Follow on Twitter: @juliejacobson




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